I awoke with a start one night to find that my left sock was missing. I hadn’t the faintest idea where it had gotten to because I could have sworn it was on my foot when I went to bed. I looked around the room and was oblivious to the pair of red eyes watching me as I looked for my sock. I looked in my closet and all I found was a pair of underwear and a sign saying ‘Look out for the spider!’ I’m not entirely sure why that’s there because I’m afraid of spiders and even the thought of one makes me shiver. But I shrugged it off and carried on my search. Finally I came across another sock that didn’t even match my plain white one. This one had a red stripe on it and had holes in it. Knowing that I’d look silly wearing only one sock I slipped that one on anyway and walked out the door.
To my horror there was a giant spider in the hallway. Seeing this spider made me remember the sign from 2 minutes ago. Oh well, I thought. The giant spider lunged at me but I rolled under it. It turned around and it shot a line of web at me but with my ninja reflexes I jumped over the line. That made the spider angry and it ran toward me but slipped on a Christmas catalog. Thank you Saint Nick. Taking that opportunity I jumped up onto the spiders butt and punched it right in it’s smug little face. To be totally honest that didn’t do anything but piss it off. It rolled over and stood back up. This time I was in trouble so I ran into my room and grabbed my knife and stabbed the spider right in the head. After realizing that it had just been stabbed in the head, turned to me and said, “What the hell! I was only playing. You didn’t have to stab me in my head!” It then ran out the window crying.
“What an odd way to start the day.” I thought.
I went into the bathroom to brush my teeth when I noticed that I wasn’t holding a tube of toothpaste but instead holding a tube of tiny snakes. So I threw that in the toilet and got out a new tube but that to had snakes. This could only be the work of one person. The evil witch Zorath. All of a sudden the room went dark and with a flash of light and a bang Zorath appeared in my shower. In a quick, lightning fast jab I turned the hot water on and watched as she melted away in my shower.
“Now that that’s done with.” I said, “I can brush my teeth.”
“Not so fast!” said a voice.
“What!” I said.
“Not so fast!” said the voice again. “You think that mere water can kill the almighty Zorath?”
“Damnit, I thought this was done with.” I said.
“Not quite.” said Zorath.
“Ok, come on out and kill me.” I said.
The door to the shower opened and there standing in a puddle of water was Zorath. She took only one step, which happened to be right on the soap, and fell right on her spine and died.
“Hmm…well looks like it pays to drop the soap.” I said.
With those last words I brushed my teeth, snake free, and went to school. Little did I know that this wasn’t the end of this weird day.
When I got to school I noticed that the building was an odd shade of green.
“What an odd shade of green.” I thought to myself and walked to the door.
Once inside I knew that today wasn’t over. All the people were actually quiet. Not a single person was talking. Well that’s not true, their lips were moving but no sound came out. Then I realized that I had my headphones still in my ears, I took them out and all the sound returned. But the sound was different. Everyone sounded like farm animals. I turned around and there was a kid listening to the sounds of farm animals on his stereo. I gave him a weird look and he turned it off.
“Sorry.” He said
“Whatever.” I replied and walked off.
I saw Christine sitting alone drinking a drink and went over to her and sat down.
“Hey, what’s up?” I said.
“Nothing, what’s up with you?” she said.
“A lot, today has been pretty weird lately.”
“Really, How so?”
“Well, I got attacked by a spider and a witch in less then 10 minutes and the school is green.”
“Wow, that’s pretty weird.”
“Yup, so I was wondering if maybe you’d like to go out sometime. Maybe Friday?” I asked.
“No way! You’re a psycho and no one likes you!” she said and dumped her drink on my head.
“Get a life creep!” she said and walked away.
“Geez it was just a question, don‘t have to freak out or anything.” I said to myself and got up.
The first bell rang and I went to my class. This was when the weirdness really started. I walked in and my teacher was dressed like a Martian.
“Mrs. Wilson? Why are you dressed like that?” I asked.
“Because, young earth child, the great Lord Hangman from Nebula Delta in the Random Galaxy is coming and I must be ready for the transport to his ship.”
“Um…ok.” I said and sat down.
The class seemed to go by extremely slow today. Literally, the clock’s second hand ticked once every 5 seconds. So I threw a paper ball at it and it ticked normally. The bell finally rang and I shot off to my next class which was weird because I’ve never shot off to a class in my life. I get to my class and my friend Cam was standing on his head. Two things were really weird about this.
1. I’m always the first out of the two of us to get to second period even when I walk and
2. Cam was standing on his head. I didn’t know he could do that.
The next thing I know is I’m sitting in my seat. I don’t even remember walking into class. I turn around to ask Justeen if she knew what was going on but she was asleep. Nothing that weird there, she’s fallen asleep in class before. So I poked her with a stick until I got bored and did something else. Then out of nowhere a hamster falls out of thin air onto my desk. It stands up and announces to me that his name is Todd and that he is, in fact, a hamster. Then just as suddenly as he appeared, he vanished. In fact it was the exact same way he appeared only in reverse. This is what he said.
“.retsmah a ma I dna ddoT si eman ym ,olleH” then he crouched down onto all fours and did a backflip into the ceiling. That was the funniest thing I saw that day and ran out of the room laughing while Mr. Rigby was rambling on about toenails and vitamins. I ran down the hall laughing and all of a sudden I tripped and got knocked out.
I woke up two hours later in the doctors office and the first thing I noticed was a hamster running in a little ball on the ground stopping every 5 seconds to count to 10.
“Todd?” I asked. The little hamster looked up at me and said, “My name is Bill, Todd is my brother though.”
“Oh…ok.” I said.
“Can I help you with anything?” asked Bill.
“Well let’s see, first off this has been one bizarre day and I’m getting a little sick of it.” I said, “I got attacked by a spider at 6:30 am, watched a witch die in my shower after turning my toothpaste into tiny shakes, the school is green, Christine thinks I’m a psycho, my English teacher is crazy, I’m talking to a hamster and now I’m in the doctors office and I don‘t remember how I got here! I don’t know, can you help!?”
“Well, no I can’t but I can say that it’s almost over.”
“Thank god.” I said, “I don’t think I can take anymore of this.”
Then all of a sudden the door opened and Bill went running out. The doctor, a real doctor, walked in and gave me my test results.
“I have brain cancer!? And I’m pregnant!? This seriously can’t be right.” I said.
“Oh oops, sorry, wrong file. Here this is yours.” He said and handed me my folder.
“I’m missing my mind and a loft sock. Yup that sounds about right.” I said.
“Here, take this clock and climb to the highest mountain and sing The Alphabet till the coo-coo bird pops out.” he said.
“Right and you’re a real doctor?” I asked.
“No…but I stayed at a Holiday Inn once.” he said and walked out the door with a smile on his face.
I went back to school and everyone was asking if I was ok but I didn’t tell them. All that was on my mind was where is my left sock? Then out of the corner of my eye I saw it, my left sock. It was running down the hallway being chased by a turkey sandwich. I ran straight for the sock and sandwich. I finally cornered the sandwich after it had eaten my sock. Thankfully the laws of everything obeyed the rules this time and I opened up the sandwich to find my sock in between the lettuce and turkey. I slipped it back on and went home.
That night I couldn’t help notice that my left sock had two red dots on it that looked a little like eyes, but I was to tired to care and went to sleep to have a freakier dream then what had happened that day.
::Soon to be a movie::
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