Poems

~Try to Pretend~
by Cheryl B.
He says next to nothing to you
but expects you to welcome his tongue in your mouth
because you are sixteen and he is twenty
his universe is infinite
your's controlled
you stutter out an "excuse me" when he tries to feel you up
his hands are bigger than yours
and you will not win
the feel of a knife in the crook of your neck
for some reason is not surprising
a sign of his victory
and your defeat
you cannot speak any longer
just stare at the cracked vinyl cushion on the couch
and you try to pretend
that you are not there
that your good friend isn't giggling in the next
room with some fraternity brother
try to pretend that the paneled walls don't leak
sound into their paradise
and wonder why this is happening to you
not that you would wish this on anyone else
a dimmer inside you turns and when suddenly it is dark
your options become clear
perhaps you will die like Marie Atoinette
or choke on a substance that will stick in your throat like wood
you try to pretend that somewhere people don't pity you
that you are strong and
you will endure this pain
(like you always do)
and you do
later, when it is over
he will drop you off at your house
and say thank you as if you have just given him
directions to a movie theater
shake your hand as if you have just won an award
and drive away as if nothing ever happened.

I belt up my red checkered pants with a black buckled belt that holds a chain,
i slip on my heals, and put on my cross.
I look at my mesh black sleeves, i dont care what people think of me.
I sit and just write all the day long.
I write poetry from the soal.
I write about pain, rape, suicide....
all that i dread!!
those are my fears, those ive been through.
Love is the worst...
love is the pain...
she sets down her pen, looks at her hands,
quivering, shaking, she see's.
she doesnt understand...
whats the meaning of life?
she tears up the page
"im worlthless" she says.

I'll always be there for you,
no matter what does happen.
I'll always be there for you,
in the light or in the dark.
I'll always be there for you,
even when your not there for me.
I'll always be there for you,
even if you found someone new.
I'll always be there for you,
even when the worst happens.
I'll always be there for you,
whatever happens to be.
I'll always be there for you,
even if you never think of me.
I'll always be there for you,
remember this, im there for you.

The thought of you gone
Has made everything go wrong.
Every thread
Is every moment I dread.

The thought of you leaving my life
Is a thought of cutting with a knife.
Every day
Every minuet
Every second
That you are gone
Is a moment that will go wrong.

This poem I write to you
Is a poem I hope will not come true.
This poem shall not be read.
Because every moment in here is what I dread.

Friday nights when I walk through that door
Everyone greats me with a roar
I put my stuff done and walk to the floor
To dance till I cant dance no more

Dancing is a blast
I never really danced at all in the past
But now that I’m older
I’ve became so much bolder

Friday I cant wait
Friday I wont be late
To hang with my girls
To hang with my boys
and to hear all that noise

I cant wait to dance till I cant dance
No more!

He knows I like him
He thinks I do
My lights begin to dim
Even know its nothing new

He says he likes me
He says he dose
Could it really be?
I don't know why I like him
I just guess its
Just because

Living life without him
Is not a life at all
Living without him will never make me grin again
Maybe I should give him a call?

Wait a minute its to early he's not home
I don't know if this is true at all
I feel so alone
I shouldn't worry really at all!

That night you brought so much to my life
Now I just feel like that was the worst night
I hate this so bad
Now that I'm not glad

The night you said it’s ok
Was the night I knew I’d pay
As to night I lay
Thinking about
If that was just another thing to add to you day?

I know I liked it
But this feeling just hit me
With no trace at all
As now I feel like I should fall

I said “I love you”
He said he did too
He kissed he real slow
I kissed him back with a glow

They say don't go for him
But I still do
I like him too much
For some one new

I know he can lie
I know he can play
But I know he will change
Well
At least someday

I know there might be consequences
But I don't care?
I know I might get hurt
So
should I Dare?

i thought u were my friend
but i guess it was all just pretend.
just a game to make me look lame
because i started to like you more than just a friend which was not pretend.
u had me rapped around your finger
you made me think u liked me for who i was.but now u despice me
whats this game you think youll be fame

i treat u like my sugar and spice and then iam the one that gets sliced
i wish u would make up your mind to be my friend or be pretend,because i am sick of it iam not gonna be nice so get out of my way before u get sliced.

looking through my sparklin eyes
i see a guy who strikes me
maybe i'll wait it'd be wise
but by then i won't see.

the perfect way he looks
sitting there so content
just like in all the books
the smiles he's quietly sent.

not even a word said
and it was love at first sight
i knew deep in my head
the he was mister right.

finally there is him speaking
like musik to my ears
he just keeps up his singing
but it brings me to my fears.

just think next time
that you've done more for me
it makes my heart climb
filling me with glee.

i can feel his soft skin
up against my own
he's there and we win
there's nothing for me to loan.

i know he's there when i'm in need
even if an ocean separates us
i know he's in the lead
he's just so completely precious.

our hands quietly meet
in hopes of finding something
and i can feel his heart beat
as it also quietly sings.

i can see him so perfectly
and even feel his warmth
and ever so slightly
what's coming the next month.

he brings me to my knees
in all that he does
no one else even sees
the way he once was.

i reach out my hand
looking for a way out
but something has it banned
from the thing i can't live without.

one day i'll realize
this was never a dream
and he will always be as wise
so we'll be the perfect team.

i will never have to sit and wonder
if he is my flying dove
will he say "i'm with her"
he'll be the one i always love.